Sometimes I Smoke Cigarettes

Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
I hold one between my lips
Loving it’s lightness.
I inhale big and hold my breath.
I get a little dizzy as the smoke
Buzzes through my insides.
I kiss the smoke goodbye as it
Leaves my lips,
Changing shape.

Sometimes I smoke cigarettes.
I do.
I smoke cigarettes
With a cappuccino
Warm in my hand
As Joni Mitchell
Cries out to me
From the record
spinning round and round.
I sit listening
so still.

About 352 days a year
I recognize smoke as poison.
I hold my breath when
Passing a smoker on the street.
About 352 days a year
I know what’s good for me.

But sometimes I smoke cigarettes.
I smoke and read old love letters.
I skim the pages of journals,
Pages of dreams past.
It’s then the sweet smoke
Travels into me,
Cradling my heart.
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes and weep.

About 352 days a year
I know which way is up
And I move in that direction.
About 352 days a year I say yes
And smile
And laugh from my guts.
About 352 days a year
I know it gonna be alright.

But sometimes,
Yes, sometimes,
I smoke cigarettes.